I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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