Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize