The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
