thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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