Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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