Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
farters have to be the big spoon...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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