youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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