OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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