She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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