Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
