Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
