I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
