i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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