I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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