You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
