Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
