I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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