My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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