did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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