Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
