If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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