5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
