Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you win again, gameday.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
