apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
