Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
