Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
