:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
