don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
