I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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