My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
