That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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