i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
