Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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