I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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