if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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