Cold hands, warm shart.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
