Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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