your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
