EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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