Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
