when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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