I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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