I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Two words: blizzard sex
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
