Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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