his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
