____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
