You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
