that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She bit a glass in half.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
