Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
