My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
